Tuesday, May 17, 2005

All men are nerds

Here's a pet theory of mine, formed by years of intense people watching (okay, hanging around in bars): all men are nerds. It doesn't matter how cool you think they are, even the coolest guys on the planet have an inner geek just below the surface. No, really. Just get Keith Richards started on which were the best years for Fender Telecasters (and for god's sake don't mention fly-fishing or you'll never escape). Don't mention who makes the better golf balls, Titleist or Callaway in front of Iggy Pop, or he'll be chewing your ear off until the cows come home. See that scary lookin' bunch of bikers in the corner? Get them started on carb set ups and see how intimidating they really are. Think those grand prix racers are glamorous? Drop the subject of tyres into the conversation and retreat slowly. Are you one of those idiots that think footballers are the epitome of cool? Walk into the changing room of your local team, bring up the current state of the property market, and weep.

This realisation helped me deal with my ongoing geekery no end. I can happily be a comic geek, a film geek, a vintage guitar geek, whatever, without any self-loathing. But there is definitely a hierarchy of geekness, and I've recently realised comic nerds aren't at the bottom. There's someone we/they can look down upon.


Fuck, they're sad. I just bought the most recent issue of PC GAMER for the demo of LEGO STAR WARS, and realised that every fear I had in the back of my mind about adults who still read comics are actually truer and in spades about the computer games community. Exclusively male, barely socialised power fantasists, with all kinds of unresolved issues with women (who are even more marginalised within their ranks).
Christ, compared to that shower, we're well adjusted model citizens.