Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Big BLOGGER slowdown

Went to diddle about with my blog and noticed the blogger website had slowed to a crawl.
I'm presuming this is due to all the saps on the planet blogging their (special, so special) reactions to Kerry conceding to Bush. Fuckers - I lost a crapload of stuff I was trying to upload.

Bush may be a repellent little shit, but its worth having him back in power just to see how artists like Michael Moore and Steve Earle will react. Both dedicated their last works to the notion of regime change. The regime survived, so what next? Exasperation? Resignation? Desperation? Insurrection? Start by living your life by a simple motto - What would Bill Hicks do?

Besides, I can't actually remember Richard Nixon, so I'm trying to sit back and enjoy a presidency history will look back on in dumbfounded amazement, from the relevant safety of Northern Ireland (but really, who can foretell where Bush'll bomb next? We could make it to The Axis Of Evil yet).

Frankly, I'm amazed at the amount of coverage this election has gotten here in the UK. It seems we're getting more and more news from the USA on our screens (since 9/11, really), and I for one can't fathom it. If it doesn't affect me, and I can't affect it, why should I give a feck about it? ( see what I did there? BOOOM-BOOOM!!). I blame Murdoch and his ilk, trying to make us nice, unthinking global citizens. Modern day serfs, for a new Feudal era. Dumb, superstitious, fearful of an invisible, unknowable and completely fictional enemy. Compliant due to that fear. In a perpetual state of religious war - 'cus war is money. War sells papers. War sells arms. Read the same dumbed-down tabloids. Watch the same dumbed-down news. Eat the same dumbed-down food. Drink the same over-packaged coffee. Really, it's enough to make you a francophile.

What always amazes me when I watch American current affairs is how much respect the US media gives their political classes - our newsmen essentially despise ours, while theirs mollycoddle them. I watch CNN and think - imagine these cunts being interviewed by Jon Snow or Jeremy Paxman. Imagine the presidential debates being chaired by John Humphreys.

Similarly, American satire seems toothless compared to ours. I remember P.J. O'Rourke on HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU a couple of years back, and he was like a throwback to the Macmillan era. He seemed horribly out of his depth. His one lame gag? "Isn't Bill Clinton fat", which isn't neccessarily even very accurate, compared to a lot of his countrymen. The only American satire that has played successfully over here of late is THE SIMPSONS, and it left it far too late to go after Bush II.
Compare Chevvy Chase's Gerald Ford or Will Ferrell's inept-but-cuddly Dubya impression to the bilious SPITTING IMAGE Thatcher or even Rory Bremner's Tony Blair.

Americans - you want rid of Bush? Can't understand how his lying, corrupt regime continues to survive? Then go for the throat. Don't hold back due to some notion of decorum, or respect for the institution. Make him synonymous with the stupid, brutal things his government have done. Failing that, try shooting at him. After all, he did just re-legalise owning machine guns, didn't he? Kewl!
Sic semper tyrannus!